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Bailey, Frost & Myrrh present

Business As Usual
Episode 4:Motivation Meltdown

Larry Full Length

Like sand in the Vaseline, so is a day in the life for the folks at Bailey, Frost, and Myrrh. In today’s episode, paradise is found… and lost!

“Pack your bags, peeps!”

Larry, the head of accounting… even though he doesn’t know much about accounting… has just strolled through the front door wearing a shirt containing more foliage than Tuscany in the springtime, white nut-hugger shorts, and Birkenstocks. Randy, the talentless, soulless department head of nothing is unimpressed.

Today’s Cast Includes:

  • DaleDALE FRENCH
    Assistant Manager
  • MollyMOLLY HOBBY
    Administrative Assistant
  • RandallRANDALL
    Mailroom
  • larryLARRY
    Purchasing Manager
  • GregGREG
    Lead Salesperson
  • dougDOUG
    Lead Computer Specialist
  • BrendaBRENDA
    Customer Service

Randall

RANDALL
“Thomas Magnum called… he wants his shirt back.”

Greg

GREG
“PFFT!”
[spits his entire mouthful of Keurig Mountain Breakfast Blend across the room]

larry

LARRY
“Laugh all you want to, but I will be stylin’ and profilin’ this little bad boy on the beaches of Waikiki soon enough.”

Molly

MOLLY
“Wow! Waikiki! Why?”

larry

LARRY
“Why? Why not?!”

Brenda

BRENDA
“I don’t know who you think your fooling, but you don’t have any time to be sunnin’ your buns on any beach. You’re already halfway through your PTO allotment for fiscal 2022.”

larry

LARRY
“But it’s not for vacation. And I’ll let you in on a little something else. We’re all going,”

Randall

RANDALL
“You’re full of sh…”

larry

LARRY
“No I am not, Randall. It’s all legit.”

Greg

GREG
“What do you mean legit?”

larry

LARRY
“Every year, we get an allotment of money for ‘team building’ exercises. We haven’t done a damn thing in the seven I’ve been here. So I figure we have a boatload of pooled money to play with. Why not Waikiki?”

Randall

RANDALL
“A., you’re an idiot. And B., there is no way on God’s green earth the brass is gonna pay for us to go surf-pounding in Hawaii.”

larry

LARRY
“Oh, but I think they will. That’s because I’ve signed us all up for a corporate motivational seminar my buddy is giving at the hotel.”

Greg

GREG
“What’s it called?”

larry

LARRY
“Only You Can Help You!”

Greg

GREG
“PFFT!”
[losing his java again]

Molly

MOLLY
“I don’t know about this.”

Brenda

BRENDA
“When you say we’re ‘all’ going, do you mean ‘all management’ or ‘all-all’?”

larry

LARRY
“All-all, babe.”

Randall

RANDALL
“Holy crap! We’re all gonna get lei’d! Woo hoo!”

Brenda

BRENDA
“You know, I always knew there was something good about you.”

larry

LARRY
“Besides, I put the requisition in last Friday after 5pm. It’s so buried. By the time anyone ever notices the bill, we’ll be slathering on the aloe back home on our couches.”

Doug

DOUG
“That’s what you think.”

Dale

DALE
“What the?! Who the?!”

Doug starts laughing ominously. The smiles around the lobby of Bailey, Frost, and Myrrh fade like the sunset they will never see on Waikiki Beach.

larry

LARRY
“Something wrong, boss?”

Dale

DALE
“Who the #$%& put in a $24,000 purchase order for a #$%&ing trip to Hawaii?!”

Molly

MOLLY
“Oh my God, you didn’t tell Dale?

larry

LARRY
“I didn’t think we’d get caught! How the hell did he find out?”

Doug

DOUG
“Because I told him.”

larry

LARRY
“Why you motherfu…”

Doug

DOUG
“Actually, I can only take partial credit. It was really HighOrbit who did my dirty work.”

larry

LARRY
“What the hell is High Orbit?”

Doug

DOUG
“It’s our system for handling literally every single process you can imagine here at BFM. Purchase orders, payroll, and yes… requisitions. You were dead the second you inputted that hair-brained idea of yours.”

larry

LARRY
“I bet you got a damn text the second it happened.”

Doug

DOUG
“As a matter of fact, I did. As did Dale… who would have known sooner had he known how to turn on his smartphone, which he doesn’t.”

Brenda

BRENDA
“You know, I always knew you were an a-hole.”

Dale

DALE
“There better be a damn good reason for this. There better be an even better reason why my name was used to make it!”[holding a printed should-be-hidden requisition]

Greg

GREG
“Air-five.”
[peeking at Larry]

“Greg and Larry give each other a small fist-bump from five feet away.”