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Bailey, Frost & Myrrh present

Business As Usual
Episode 5:The Two That Got Away

Brenda Headline Image

Like sand in the Vaseline, so is a day in the life for the folks at Bailey, Frost, and Myrrh. In today’s episode, Molly sees double… trouble!

“Welcome to BFM. What do you want?”

Brenda, the head of customer service who would rather be getting a root canal than manning the front desk of Bailey, Frost, and Myrrh, stares at the newcomer before her.

“Hi,” says Genevieve, a warm, friendly, and ably confident early-twenties recent college graduate. “I’m here to see Molly.”

Today’s Cast Includes:

  • DaleDALE FRENCH
    Assistant Manager
  • MollyMOLLY HOBBY
    Administrative Assistant
  • larryLARRY
    Purchasing Manager
  • GregGREG
    Lead Salesperson
  • dougDOUG
    Lead Computer Specialist
  • BrendaBRENDA
    Customer Service
  • Headshot of GenevieveGENEVIEVE
  • Headshot of GingerGINGER

Molly

MOLLY
“Is that Genevieve I hear?”

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE
“It’s so good to finally meet you!”

Molly

MOLLY
“You, too! Let’s get star…”

Brenda

BRENDA
“Uh, Molly? Do you have a moment?”

Molly

MOLLY
“Sure, Brenda”

Brenda

BRENDA
“Now.”

Molly

MOLLY
“What can I do for you, Brenda?”

Brenda

BRENDA
“Is this chick your new assistant?”

Molly

MOLLY
“I sure hope so.”

Brenda

BRENDA
“Then who is that chick?”
[Brenda motions to a platinum blonde, exceptionally buxom woman who is checking her phone in the corner of the lobby.]

Molly

MOLLY
“I…uh…I have no idea, What’s her name?”

Brenda

BRENDA
“I don’t remember, I think she’s named after some kind of spice.”

Molly

MOLLY
“Spice? Is it Cinnamon?”

Brenda

BRENDA
“No.”

Molly

MOLLY
“Pepper?”

Brenda

BRENDA
“No.”

Molly

MOLLY
“I know! Paprika!”

Brenda

BRENDA
“What the hell is wrong with you? Go ask her!”

Molly walks uneasily over to the woman in the corner.

Molly

MOLLY
“Hi, I’m sorry to sound so rude, but who are you again?”

Before the woman can speak, Greg… the sales lothario of Bailey, Frost, and Myrrh… saunters into the room wearing Tommy Bahama jeans, a silk Ferragamo shirt, and Polo driving slippers.

Greg

GREG
“There’s my Ginger!”

Brenda

BRENDA
“I knew it was a spice!”

Molly

MOLLY
“It’s a sushi condiment.”

Brenda

BRENDA
“I don’t care.”

Greg

GREG
“Molly, meet your new helper! Ginger and I are old friends.”

Brenda

BRENDA
“How old?”

Greg

GREG
“Oh, ‘bout nine or ten hours. I just knew when I saw her…personality…she’d be the perfect woman for me…for you. Definitely you, Molly.”

Dale

DALE
“Who’s the perfect woman?”
[Dale, sprinting out of his office like a Kenyan marathoner at the tape]

Greg

GREG
“Ginger, Big D. Molly’s been whining about not getting any help, and Ginger wants the job.”

Ginger

GINGER
“I’d love…”

Molly

MOLLY
“But I’m already hiring someone. This is Genevieve.”

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE
“Hi, it’s nice to…”

Greg

GREG
“But I already promised Ginger you’d give her a look under the hood.”

larry

LARRY
“What are we talking about?”

Doug

DOUG
“Molly and Dale both all but hired two people for the same job.”

larry

LARRY
“Well the answer’s simple. Genevieve, how many words can you type a minute?”

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE
“Uh, eighty-two.”

larry

LARRY
“Ginger?”

Ginger

GINGER
“Eighty-five.”

Dale

DALE
“Point to Ginger. How are your vocabulary skills?”

Ginger

GINGER
“Exemplary.”

Dale

DALE
“Genevieve?”

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE
“Stunning in their acumen, yet apropos in their simplicity.”

“Ooooooo,” coos literally everyone in the room, minus Ginger who is now quite irritated.

Dale

DALE
“This is going to be a tough decision.”

Headshot of Doug

DOUG
“You know, you could have avoided this whole fiasco using HighOrbit.”

Greg

GREG
“Good usage of the word fiasco, Doug-ly.”

Headshot of Doug

DOUG
“Shut up you twit.”

larry

LARRY
“Doug, we know you’re smart and all. But HighOrbit couldn’t have done anything in this situation.”

Headshot of Doug

DOUG
“Are you kidding? With HighOrbit, this whole process could have been streamlined. RFP for applicants, ‘must-have’ filters, a database for potentials, and everything going through Molly to find the right applicant, and Dale for final approval. We could have even used it to on-board the chosen candidate. Instead, you’ve got two seemingly qualified women battling it out like it’s some kind of reality show competition.”

Dale

DALE
“That’s it! Larry, you know what to do!”

Larry races out of the room to much bewilderment, only to return wearing a leopard-print head band and carrying a Tiki Torch.

Dale

DALE
“You will each be tasked with completing certain challenges, and we will vote off the loser at the end.”

larry

LARRY
“The first event is racing around the office with boxes of paper-reams attached to your feet. Now if you’ll just… hey, where’d they go?”

The front door of Bailey, Frost, and Myrrh is slowly closing, but a split-second before it does, Ginger’s manicured middle finger makes a brief appearance, followed by a cloud of dust and an expletive.